Saturday, May 23, 2009

The End

The End. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. It's time to move forward and forget the things that aren't that memorable anyways, and with that life begins. Cha Jones 5-21-09

I am about to begin a new journey. One I never would have imagined. One that will change my life forever and ending things is the only way I know to begin.


I was born in Omaha, NE on May 20th 1976 and four days into my thirty-third birthday I’m walking away from everything I ever knew to be true for a taste of the unknown. I was born the year of the Chinese Dragon; the Dragon is the mightiest of the signs. Dragons symbolize such character traits as dominance and ambition. Dragons prefer to live by their own rules and if left on their own, are usually successful. They’re driven, unafraid of challenges, and willing to take risks. I own all of those qualities, but even with all the risks I still have my fears. And I have learned to never own those, because fears will keep you in places that no longer serve you or your greatest good.


So, today I am preparing to move beyond all that I know and believe to be true for this moment. I am stepping into a world that is completely foreign to me. I don’t speak the language, but I am intrigued by the culture. My spirit tells me I will be safe, but I know in my heart I am leaving in one matter and returning in another. I am never going to be the same again. For many I am taking a unique journey to a far off land to teach English, but for me I know I am going to Seoul South Korea to teach, be taught, and to find the pieces of my inner spirit that speaks.
Even when I sit here looking at my suitcases I wonder why I can’t let go even though I have done this thing so many times before, the packing and moving thing, that is. I have moved from state to state within the U.S, and I had to leave things I loved and give away things I still wanted. However, this is so different. I believe the change will be vast that packing should minimal, but I am finding it difficult. This is the first time I have had to put my whole life into three suitcases. Even in college I knew I could come home and pick things up, but in this case, that is not true.


My recent birthday is important. In numerology 33 is the most influential of all numbers. It is the Master Teacher. The 33 combines the 11 and the 22 and brings their potential to another level. When expressed to the fullest, the 33 lacks all personal ambition, and instead focuses its considerable abilities toward the spiritual uplifting of mankind. What makes the 33 especially impressive, is the high level of sincere devotion. This is shown in its determination to seek understanding and wisdom before preaching to others. The 33 in full force is extremely rare.
So, in essences the journey at this time in my life is not about my wants and desires, this journey is about becoming all that I have been pre-destine to be. I have always been a woman amongst girls, a leader, a dreamer, a writer, a free spirit, and one who step beyond the present in many ways.


As it was written in a poem a few years back; this is my story, this is about me, I don’t control the lines, but I do determine what they turn out to be. So, with that I begin anew.